Category: Everything
See – Hear – Feel
I’ve been asked to do a little write up about basic insight meditation technique, and while I’m in no ways a super experienced and esteemed dharma teacher, I am quite familiar with this technique as I do it every day (sometimes multiple times a day!)
For further and more in depth reading into this style of meditation practice please check out Daniel Ingrams “Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha”, Culadasa’s “The Mind Illiuminated”, or you can just go more OG and read
Mahasi Sayadaw’s “Manual of Insight”. For teachers I would recommend the esteemed Shinzen Young, who has various online resources you can check out.
If you’re going to stick with me however, I can certainly get you started.
What we’re doing
In order to see through reality, we need to break it down into individual parts. Our brains do a great job of blending experience together so you can’t see where one sensing experience ends and the next begins. It’s hard to separate you (”SELF”) from what you’re seeing and experiencing. When we break all that down through meditation you can start to see how your reality is constructed, how your emotional states interact and influence your sensory experiences, and how your sensory experiences (amazing, horrible, and neutral) can all be broken down into smaller units of individual moment to moment sense awareness.
Why?
Why would you want to do that? Well, for one thing when you are able to break things down to that level and see the truth of the way your experiences are constructed, it’s much easier to deal with intense emotion and difficulty as it arises in life. The ability to see things as they are and experience emotions as they are without trying to change them or getting too caught up in them is a great way to reduce daily suffering in your life. This ability to feel and experience deeply but not to fight our experience or attach to our experience is called Equanimity. There’s also enlightenment, which isn’t too bad either.
*note – this is different than APATHY – which is disconnected. In this practice we cultivate an intense connection to our experience rather than a disconnection*
Components of reality – the Sense doors
We typically are tracking 3 senses in this technique – See, Hear, and Feel.
See
– Can be anything you see with your physical eyes when they are open, as well as anything you see with your eyes closed (images, dancing lights, visually replaying memories etc)
Hear
– Can be anything you hear with your physical ears, as well as anything you hear with that narrator that lives inside your head that feeds you thoughts and opinions on everything.
Feel
– Is just about any other sense experience. We lump “taste” and “smell” into this one too. The important thing is that this just isn’t physical feeling like the breeze blowing on your face – it’s also emotional feeling. So if you suddenly feel anger arise – that’s also a “Feel” state.
Noting vs Labelling
In this technique you’ll simply see which of the 3 sense doors above are activated – which pull your attention away – and first note and then label them. SO EASY right?! In order to do this you need to know the difference between noting and labelling.
Noting
is when you NOTICE an experience in awareness – for example, you NOTICE that you feel a breeze. Perhaps you haven’t fully translated that experience into mental words yet and brought it into narration – but you’ve NOTICED what is happening.
Labelling
is putting that noticing to words with a single word label such as See, Hear, or Feel.
The distinction is important, since as you get more advanced the labeling might become cumbersome – at which point you will drop activating your language centers with labeling, and instead simply note all experience.
Technique
Step One – Access Concentration
The first 5 minutes of every meditation always consists of what I like to see as “letting the dust settle”. The first few minutes I tune in I just become very aware of all the white noise I have going on in my head. So to get started just take a few deep breaths and notice what’s there today.
Next we’ll do a simple breath counting technique for 5 minutes to develop access concentration – in this state of conciousness your mind is settled from the day to day enough that you can really focus on your object of meditation – in this case the breath.
So simply count your breaths up and down from 5, counting on the out breath and in breath.
Breathe in (ONE)
Breathe out (TWO)
Breathe in (THREE)
Breathe out (FOUR)
Breathe in (FIVE)
Then back down to one again. Do this for about 5 minutes (10 is better!)
If your mind wanders off – that’s totally fine, that’s what minds do even with lots of experience. Just start back up with the counting.
The counting is there to remind you of what you’re doing, if you lose the count it’s typically because your mind has wandered off just for a moment – sometimes in a stealthy under the radar way that you’re not aware of. Just stick with the counting as closely as possible, and pick up where you left off if you lose it. No big deal
Step Two – Noting and Labeling for senses
After 10 minutes (you can use an app like the Insight Timer that allows you to program in interval bells) – you can start with the noting and labelling.
Imagine yourself like a cat, waiting in front of three mouse holes, one for each of the senses. Notice where your attention is drawn to one, and then at the end of the out breath label it “see” “hear” or “feel” based on the breakdown above.
I find it easiest to do a rythmic noting, though some will note consistently – for me just labeling at the end of the out breath works great.
It’s that simple!
Optional Variation – Noting for Feeling States Only
This technique can also be augmented – so that instead of noting “see”, “hear” or “feel, you are just noting for feeling states.
So for example, you can sit for 15 minutes and ONLY note your emotional experience so “Angry” “Sad” “Peace” etc. If you have a hard time identifying emotions, you can look in the body to see where they might exist as contractive or expansive energy (that feeling of being “punched in the gut” or like your “heart is going to explode” etc) and what they might be. Sometimes an emotion arises and it’s not clear what it is, or there is no word for it – these feelings we label “something” or “don’t know”
This is a very effective tool for getting in touch with your emotional body if you’re the type to never really know what you’re feeling at any given time. If that’s the case you should be noting feeling states like it’s going out of style! In this technique you can also continue to note for Feeling Tone and Attachment (as outlined below) which can prove to be very enlightening.
Step Two Point Five – Dependent Arising
After a while, you might begin to notice the connection between senses and experiences, this is called Dependent Arising.
A simple example of this would go as follows: there is a bird outside that chirps. Your attention is drawn to the noise and you label “hear” and in your mind you see an image of the bird and you label “see” then perhaps you remember your childhood pet bird and feel a fondness arise and label “feel”. The fondness carries you off into a memory of being a child and falling down on your bike, and you label “see” for the seeing experience, and “feel” for the sadness that arises, and “hear” for any self talk associated with the memory. The sadness carries you off into another thought (hear for the narrator) that illicits a visual memory (see) and an emotional experience (feel), and then a car drives by outside and you label “hear” etc etc etc. These chains of experience are always functioning in our awareness, even when we’re not paying attention to them.
This example, while simple, contains a deep truth about the nature of our experience. It is helpful to notice the connections if they arise, but the instruction is to not get carried away by memories or thoughts. However, you undoubtedly will – and when you do simply return like a cat to the mousehole and begin again to simply note what arises.
Step Three – Optional second labelling for feeling tones (Vedana)
You might need to sit with the See/hear/feel technique above for several days in order to get the hang of it. Once you feel comfortable with it, you can add a second label for Feeling Tone (in pali it’s called Vedana pro: VEDNA)
Feeling tones can be as complicated as you want them to be, but like the senses we try and simplify things by simply using the labels Pleasant, Unpleasant, and Neutral
So in addition to the basic “see”, “hear”, “feel” label you’ll add a second label for whatever feeling tone above is associated with that sense experience.
Example
(Bird Chirps) Hear, Pleasant
(see bird mentally) See, Neutral
(feeling of fondness) Feel, Pleasant
(car screeching) Hear, Unpleasant
Etc Etc, you get the idea.
Step Four – Optional labeling for attachment and aversion
After you get the hang of two step labelling, you can add a third label for how much you are attached or averse to the experience you’re having. The labels I like to use are “Wanting” “Not Wanting” and “Peace”
Example
(sadness about lost dog) Feel, Unpleasant, Not Wanting
(sadness about lost dog) Feel, Unpleasant, Not Wanting
(happy visual of playing with dog) See, Pleasant, Wanting
(Feeling of Happiness) Feel, pleasant, wanting
(Hear car drive by) Hear, Neutral, Peace
(Annoyance for car disturbing meditation) Feel, Unpleasant, Wanting <– self righteous anger is always an interesting one to witness!
(See car drive by on mental screen) See, Neutral, Peace
BONUS POINTS – sometimes when feelings are super intense like intense anger or sadness, it’s helpful to just spend your entire meditation period noting and labelling the fluctuations in that emotional state. You might just find over time that you are able to shift emotion experience from intense feelings of “not wanting” to “peace” with diligent watching. It’s also useful to see what thoughts arise from those emotions – as these are often connected. Don’t get carried off by the thoughts, but just simply notice what the thoughts are.
Possible Example
(intense sadness) Feel, Unpleasant, Not Wanting
(intense sadness) Feel, Unpleasant, Not wanting
(intense sadness) Feel, Unpleasant, Not wanting
(intense sadness) Feel, Unpleasant, Wanting
(sadness) Feel, Neutral, Not wanting
(sadness) Feel, Unpleasant, Peace
(sadness) Feel, Unpleasant, Peace
In Conclusion – Meditation Prescription
So to get started, I would prescribe 20 minutes a day of this practice. 5 Minutes of breath counting to settle in, with 15 minutes of noting experience. It can also be useful to note or label throughout the day as a check in just to see what’s going on.
As you progress add in the new labels and experiment with just noting for feeling states. Over time with this practice you’ll start seeing your experience more clearly, and with that clarity will hopefully come a bit of peace in difficulty, and equanimity with the changing tides of life.
If you would like to continue past this simple introduction, I would recommend any of the previously listed resources, or finding a dharma center near you!
Much Metta –
S
I am the boundless ocean.
This way and that,
The wind, blowing where it will,
Drives the ship of the world.But I am not shaken.
I am the unbounded deep
In whom the waves of all the worlds
Naturally rise and fall.But I do not rise or fall.
I am the infinite deep
In whom all the worlds
Appear to rise.Beyond all form,
Forever still.Even so am I.
I am not in the world.
The world is not in me.I am pure.
I am unbounded.
The Ashtavakra Gita (via lazyyogi)
An awake heart is like a sky that pours light.
Hafiz (via lazyyogi)
Winter feast for the soul
There’s a great community built around this idea of the Winter’s feast for the Soul. It’s a 40 day long spiritual practice period in the beginning of the year, which can be spent in any daily spiritual practice though it’s mostly geared towards meditation.
While I’m not formally joining this year (mainly because I have a teacher and am on a fairly specific meditation path) – During this time I am staying mindful of the idea of a winter’s sojourn towards inner work and journeying, and am with the group in spirit.
Winter is really the season for me where the outer world goes quiet and my inner world starts to sing a bit louder. In the quiet it’s easier to hear.
In that spirit, I started out this year with a 5 day sitting retreat. For 5 days I sat for 2 hours, ate breakfast, sat for 4 hours, ate lunch, listened to dharma talks, took walks, and sat for 2 more hours in the evening all in silence.
I had some deep and profound experiences on this retreat. I started to see with clarity the purpose of the labeling, even though I personally have never been interested in it. I can sit and note and notice, but I find labeling too disruptive for my concentration.
The instructions for one of the days was fairly extensive 4 part Mahasi style noting, which then branched out into dual 4 part noting – which was just too much for me. I instead focused on only noting “gone”.
Things became one pointed on the first night, and while in that state I noticed a flicker in my awareness. To be more to the point, it wasn’t a flicker in my awareness but a flicker OF my awareness. There was an energy build to investigate the flicker, to investigate the nature of awareness itself but I was too afraid.
I spent the next day trying to release my fear around cessation. So much fear, which I can talk about in another post. I had some deep insights around my fear of further growth, and fear of how the world might change (even for the better).
I felt like there was a lot of effort put into cessation on that day, which is clearly not the right way to go about it – but there was something so URGENT about having this experience on retreat in a safe bubble that I couldn’t let effort go. I had a very near miss where instead of cessation I ended up in the 8th jhana according to my teacher. After that all sense experience was muted for the rest of the day like everything in awareness was happening to someone else next door instead of to me.
I started to feel the vibrations all around me, vibrations of sense doors, but I was also drilling into the mind states of compassion and metta and seeing the vibrations in those. I spend a while contemplating if these are vibrations or flickers – or does it matter? A vibration is ultimately just as unstable as a flicker, but in my opinion a flicker by it’s nature blips in and out of existence – which is more like no self rather than impermanence.
Either way, I am back now and deep into equanimity. After a few minutes of concentration practice each morning I find myself landing in what I’m guessing is the 4th jhana – spacious equanimity. My body and sense of my body starts getting mushy and floating away.
I’m balancing the floating away with the going to work, and home, and planning my life – while feeling much clearer around my decisions. The equanimity seems to be suffusing everything with a clarity I’m not accustomed to. I want to hold on to it and never let it go, and my new task is to find equanimity with the loss of equanimity.
There’s more, but that’s all for now.
Thank you for your practice
S
Energy Centers and Dreams
Last week in insight practice we used the practice of suppressing self generated afflictive emotion – this week we are exploring the energy centers and the somaticized emotion that they contain.
When I first was “initiated” or whatever you want to call it – and felt the urge to meditate all the time and go on retreat and have wild experiences and all that – I felt a fairly consistent pressure (or contractiveness) on the top of my head.
Sometimes if felt like someone was physically pushing down on my head with a thumb or a fist. I also felt this strong pressure in my forehead – there was at least one sit where I actually visualized the sensation as an ice pick, and it threw my whole head backward it was so intense.
Lately those energy centers have subsided a bit – and the lower ones are unfolding. The metta practice has brought more awareness to my heart and solar plexus – but the most interesting one that’s waking up right now is in my throat.
Lately when I’ve gotten quiet, it’s my throat that’s been the most noticeable, even when the practice doesn’t involve the energy centers. Sometimes just during the day I’ll feel it – much like I used to feel the pressure in my head.
In sitting practice we’re working with identifying feeling states that reside in these centers, and I’ve been working with my throat. I feel there’s emotion trapped in there around feeling unheard and unseen. The emotions feels similar to the dream where you scream but no one hears you. I’m not entirely sure what emotion that is – but it should have a name.
As if to validate this thought I had yesterday, last night I had a dream in which S and I were at a theme park, in line to ride one of those standing roller coasters. We all load into the cars and I realize that my safety harness doesn’t come down. Or rather, it comes down but it doesn’t lock snugly into place, it just kind of bounces up. I try and get the attention of one of the attendants but no one hears me or is nearby enough to hear me. I wave my arms and no one seems to notice. The gal comes by to individually check the cars and when she gets to mine she cursorly inspects the person next to me and sees that theirs is fine and kind of skims over mine. I start yelling at her and she hears me
I get out of the car and start yelling at everyone on the platform and they hear me. They yell back, defensive. We fight, I call them all incompetent and storm out.
But I still want to ride the ride so I sneak back in later – which is when I woke up.
(there as another part of this dream in which I had a baby – I felt great love for the baby, but conflict with my partner – a sort of smugness that rubbed me the wrong way. I wanted to go out to an event – a movie or art show or something – and realized that I didn’t want to leave my baby alone. So I was in a position to either leave and feel bad or stay and feel bad for missing the event. It was a terrible feeling, but I was very aware of a “right vs wrong” choice. My partner was a bit smug with an “i told you so” look when he saw I wanted to go out but couldn’t – as if he knew all along this would be my struggle with parenthood. Even in my dreams that smugness drives me crazy.)
Self generated emotion
So, I’m back from my whirlwind driving/family/food weekend – I managed to continue with my meditation practice while I was out of town for Thanksgiving. I brought my cushion and just sat in the guest bedroom. Fortunately I am always the first one awake at any gathering – so I always have some time to myself in the morning to kill off.
I can’t tell if things are clicking fully back into place again or not – but they are feeling a bit more on track by a matter of degrees. We’ve moved into compassion practice in morning meditation – and I’ve found that it’s one of the most amazing tools I’ve been introduced to so far.
The big component for this is the investigation of self generated emotion brought on by thinking, in particular those looping “sticky” thoughts that really trip us up.
So, the process is to wait and see if a thought comes up, and to identify if it’s a one off thought “I need to remember to pay rent” versus a repeating thought “I can’t believe I screwed that up, I’m such an idiot”
If it’s a repeating thought you sit with it until you can get feel for the emotion behind the content of the thought. Once you have a grasp on the emotion behind the thought you allow the content to fall away and just focus on the emotion. Bring that emotion down into the body and really feel where it’s located and get a sense for it. If it’s a self-generated emotion at this point the emotional aspect will dissolve a bit into something else – into another deeper emotion or mind-state. This is the actual emotion that exists that exists in the body that triggered the thought.
If the self generated emotion is really sticky and won’t go away, the instruction is to blast it with some nice strong metta for a while to dissolve it. If the underlying emotion or feeling state is too strong to face, the instruction is likewise.
The gist of this is that we often have big feelings that we carry around with us that we aren’t necessarily always able to process or deal with. We just dont have the tools. So we get stuck in thought patterns that generate another emotion that we can relate to – even if negatively. For many people it’s easier to deal with anger than a fear of abandonment for example – so they self generate anger instead.
The anger/fear example is a classic – but there are lots of others, and often these sticky thoughts are just tools for dealing with environmental triggers of deeper stuff that hasn’t been worked through. It’s great to have a tool to really work with this type of destructive thinking.
I had an experience with an ex on Monday that spun me out into this type of thinking all night and through the morning on Tuesday – and in meditation I blasted that thinking and it’s associated generated emotions away with Metta. Throughout the day as the thinking would creep back in I would continually blast that self generated feeling state of not being good enough back with metta over and over….. and it totally worked. By the end of the day I felt so good, and so clear about the situation in a way I never would have been if I had allowed those thoughts to run rampant through my day.
What a lifesaver, this technique is!
the Good Heretic 