Concentration

I didn’t do a very good job of updating this weekend – which is basically compatible with every other attempt I’ve ever had at journaling or logging my experiences.

Sits lately have been pretty good, whatever that means – they waver between nice deep concentration and thinking.  I’m noticing my patters a bit more clearly – that it takes about 5 minutes to really settle in and get concentrated.  I’m better at strictly following the breath, I see the familiar sequence of phenomena play out each time I sit – so I think it’s good that it’s all getting more familiar.

On Sunday I sat for concentration and felt very much in my body and able to get into it. Conciousness opened up to  bright white field of vision with strong equanimity for a few moments before I popped out of it.  I always feel pulled to healing while in these states and while I’m there I’m convinced that healing is my life’s purpose.  I’ve even heard voices telling me so.  Then I return to the normal world and think maybe not in the traditional way – but maybe in other ways.  Namely in counseling and advising – mental healing rather than physical – I’ve always had a knack for that.

Off the cushion my dreams have been getting more active in the past month or so.  I wish I could say they all had profound messages for me, but they seem to be fairly mundane dreams about work and such (outside of the aforementioned dream in which I became a tree).  Sometimes I wake up feeling like I have just dreamt of something very important and symbolic but then it slips away almost immediately.  So I think something is whirling around in there, I’m just not sure what!