Had some difficulty getting concentrated, I kept feeling my ego dragging itself to the party and pushing me out of concentration
In noting feeling states I practiced this time stepping back and noting things come up from a space of distance – practicing not getting carried away by feelings. I noticed I had some difficult feelings come up that seem to be below the surface – sadness, jealousy, anger etc. Often about a particular situation in my life.
Today for a brief moment I had an insight on how those feelings arose and passed away like everything else if looked at from a distance. If I don’t get enmeshed and surfing those feelings it’s easy to see them only stay in awareness for a moment.
Outside of that, the sit seemed fairly soft today, but the Q&A was good and we discussed feeling emotions as vibrations on the surface of the body. I sat for a while longer and noticed all the areas of my body that would subtely vibrate and tried to pick out their corresponding emotions.
Mostly I just got frustrated that my meditation wasn’t that great, and realized how much my ego is caught up in expectation and judgement in regards to my practice.
the Good Heretic 